Thursday, December 30, 2010

Giggles and Footsteps

This morning I am listening to two little girls (Keira and my niece) run through the house giggling their little butts off.  On any other day I would say something about the rule of no running in the house, but today it really is making me smile.  I love that they can have fun with the simplest things.  I wish I could bottle that laughter and share it with the world.  We have all become so serious about life and have lost our imagination.  What I wouldn't give to be that carefree again for a day.  I am loving these giggles and enjoying them.  Who wants to be in trouble for having fun? I sure don't!  Maybe I should run through the house and laugh right along with them!

I think my favorite time of the day is the early morning when I am not quite awake yet and I hear the kids in the house moving around.  I hear them try to tippy toe past my bedroom door in hopes of not waking the sleeping bears inside!  It warms my heart to know that we have taught them to think of others.  I often will see Keira stop and watch a commercial on TV about abused animals with tears streaming down her face and I realize how huge her 4 year old heart truly is.  She is ask me, "Mommy, what happened to those animals?"  How does one answer that question?  I will say that someone didn't take care of them very well, etc.  How do you explain to a 4 year old that no one loved a particular puppy or kitty?  It is a difficult line to walk when I think about blowing her innocent view on the world out of the water.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

New Beginnings

     Considering all of the changes and new beginnings happening in my life at this moment in time, I thought I would join the 'in-crowd' and become a blogger.  We'll see how it all works out.  
     As for the new beginnings in my life, I just finished nursing school a couple of weeks ago and am starting to actually work as a nurse with some responsibility.  This is a huge undertaking and I am pretty nervous about it.  I wonder if I should feel more confident or is this normal for new nurses fresh out of school? I feel like I just spent two years in school and don't know a darn thing!  The funny thing is I have heard from many people that nursing school teaches you to pass boards, experience teaches you to be a nurse.  I hope this is the case for me because I feel blind going in to work sometimes.  While I love what I do, I swear each day I go in there I find out something else I don't know, or something else I didn't know I was supposed to do.  I imagine it will become somewhat routine after a while.  (At least I hope so!)
     The other things that are constantly changing in my life are my children.  Laynee is fast approaching teenage years and it is showing with her attitude! She has mood swings that scare the crap out of me some days, other days she is just as sweet as can be.  I often wonder what I would do without Laynee because she often fills in as my own personal assistant!  Michael has had a fantastic year so far.  He has started on medication for ADHD and depression and is a whole new boy.  He made the honor roll this past fall and has only been in trouble once this year that required a phone call to me from the principal.  Keira is 4 and going on 25.  She is too smart for her own good and some days I wonder how we all keep up with her.  Darrel is doing the stay home dad thing with her until she starts kindergarten next fall.  After being home with her for only two weeks she is reading 3 letter words and has learned to write her name.  She also does very simple math like 2+3=5 etc...
     I believe children grow way too fast.  I wake up sometimes at night in a panic because I dreamed about them being all grown up.  I wake up with a gripping fear that I missed out on 10 years of their life and missed them growing up for some reason.  I don't like that dream because I am loving every minute of raising them, even the tough times.  Why is it that we learn how to raise children while we are raising them and by the time we have it all figured out they grow up and move away? I often think we are all growing up together instead of just raising our kids.