Today I spent in a classroom finishing up the review course for boards. I spent the day with girls I have gotten to know pretty well over the past two years. Honestly I am a little sad to not see some of them anymore. It really is over and the finality of it has set in. We all make promises to get together and do this and that in the future but will it really happen? Who knows. We all know that people get lives and get busy and these new friendships that have built to help us through this time will dwindle away. My mom told me a long time ago that people come into our lives for a reason and when that reason is fulfilled they go out of our lives too. She is probably right. I hope some of those friendships live on, but there are others I can live without.
Now that school is over I am kind of like now what? I really don't have chapters to read or papers to write. Is my family ever going to be normal again? Is it possible to get to know my children again? Can I actually know my husband as a husband again? I have felt for months like he and I have been just living like two room mates or two parents with the common goal of raising the same 3 children. Our connection is missing. We used to be so close we'd finish each others's sentences. It was like we had our own secret language. We always knew what the other was thinking. Now we seem satisfied to just be in the same building, each doing our own thing. I hope with some time spent together we can rebuild and have even better than we used to. I miss him and I miss us....
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